The noise unbearable
The rabble despicable
Loathingly encapsulated and enveloped
Lost in your pointless noise
What is there to say that you must shout so loud
Your words lack any meaning and betray your camaraderie
The bleating blotches the landscape
Draping it in meaningless colour both
of absolute whites and desolate blacks
Yet you force your white noise upon everyone
intoxicated to the point of despair and futility
The sound innumerable
The flock unclean
I despise your existence
I yearn for your demise
If your words mean so much then you must contemplate
Steady your resolve and find a reason to be and meaning in
The realisation will become your own kick
Scrape your mind from the highest ceilings of low basement highs
in doing so find more, find better, find purity
Release yourself from the prison of your own design
Hmmmmm a bit literal and therefore whiny in places, you've got some nice ideas here, but at the end of the day it sounds like an embittered old man, incapable of experiencing fun, banging on the walls of noisy neighbors at 9:30 on a Friday evening (unless that was the character you were aiming to create, in which case fair-play, but I believe there may be an autobiographical element to this).ReplyDelete
God I sound like a teacher
Embittered old man?!!! I am an embittered old man!!!ReplyDelete
This one was much more literal than what I would usually write, and yes, it was inspired by a genuine outpouring onto the streets of a party across the road from me (there's your autobiographical). I think part of the reasons that this has a different tone to it is due to the way in which I wrote it; I pretty much used a stream of consciousness technique, and apart from a quick spell check, I posted this online the moment I finished it. I'd usually spend a little more time over my poetry, but decided to go with the flow on this one as I was a little pissed off with the noise that was coming from outside by kids who appear to have modelled themselves after Top Shop manikins. I used part of this as a motivation to write.
Although drawing attention to this discontent wasn't my true goal in writing this poem, more a framework in which to begin developing an idea, one that I aim to return to. I was hoping to hide undertones of discontent with modern mainstream culture (thus the use of 'wasteland' in the title), one which appears to continue to hold shallow celebrity on a pedestal over people of worth. I believe this could be where the whiny parts shone through.
Ideally I wanted to write something that began with negativity but ended with positivity, of a message of hope, although preferably not one that preached.
God, I sound like a teacher...